The One with The Lost Memory
by Rachel Nicole
Summary: A bump on the head causes Rachel to lose her memory and Ross pretends to be her husband because she doesn’t remember anything else. *NOW FINISHED!!* PLEASE READ AND REVIEW
1. The One with the Lost Memory

The one with the Lost Memory  
  
Abbreviations for all those stupid ones who don't know.haha just playin!!  
  
OS- Off stage AN-Author's note OTP-On the phone  
  
Summary: A bump on the head causes Rachel to lose her memory and Ross pretends to be her husband because she doesn't remember anything else. Phoebe and Monica are deciding to make some extra money, so they put an ad in the newspaper for two babysitters. Joey auditions for the play "Annie", and encourages Chandler to try out too. "Just for the heck of it".  
  
Authors Note: Hi, guys! This is definitely one of my stories that I have enjoyed writing the most!  
  
Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me, but to Warner Bros and somebody else that I am too lazy to look up!! :-) Enjoy!!  
  
(Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. The whole gang is there. Monica is cooking, and is asking Rachel to help test her new creation. Joey is on the phone, and Chandler is watching TV. Ross is sad about breaking up with Rachel, and Phoebe is comforting him)  
  
Joey: (OTP) Yeah? Okay! Yeah, sure! No, this will be good practice for me! (Listens) Thanks, Jim! (Hangs up)  
  
Chandler: What was that all about?  
  
Joey: My agent just called and thinks I should audition for "Annie."  
  
Chandler: Isn't that the Broadway musical about a little redhead orphan?  
  
Joey: Yeah, so? That Warbucks dude is PHAT!  
  
Chandler: Please don't use those words.it scares people.  
  
(Ross is looking very sad and Phoebe is trying to comfort him)  
  
Phoebe: Oh, it's okay, Ross! There are lots of girls out there as good as Rachel.you just have to find her!  
  
Ross: Thanks, Phoebs! I just wish I could have Rachel, though.  
  
Phoebe: Well, if you want her THAT bad, then you should do something about it!  
  
Ross: Your right! Thanks, Phoebs!  
  
Phoebe: No problem.now I gotta go pee!! (She runs to the bathroom)  
  
(Cut to: Monica and Rachel by the stove)  
  
Monica: Oh, here, taste this!  
  
Rachel: Mmm.okay! (Tastes something from a spoon)  
  
Monica: Do you think it needs something?  
  
Rachel: Hmm.maybe a little salt?  
  
Monica: That's what I thought. (She goes to get the salt, but it is stuck between two piles of dirty frying pans. She pries it out, but the pans become unsteady, and get ready to fall. Monica backs out of the way quickly) Rachel! Move!  
  
Rachel: (Turns around, but it is too late and all the pans fall on her head)  
  
(The whole gang gets up, and goes to see if Rachel is all right)  
  
(Scene: The camera is in Rachel's position on the floor looking up. The whole gang is crowded around her-except Phoebe who is still in the bathroom- the camera blurs and fades to black, as if Rachel is opening and closing her eyes)  
  
Monica: Rachel?  
  
Ross: Are you okay?  
  
Chandler: Woah, that's gonna bruise. (Monica elbows him)  
  
Joey: (Holds up 3 fingers) How many fingers, Rach?  
  
(The camera goes black)  
  
(Phoebe runs out of the bathroom)  
  
Phoebe: What happened? What happened? (Sees Rachel on the ground) Ross! When I told you to do something about it, I didn't mean kill her!!!  
  
(Opening Credits, Theme song, Commercial break)  
  
(Scene: The hospital. The whole gang is crowded around Rachel's bed and Rachel is asleep. The doctor enters)  
  
Doctor: Hey guys!  
  
Ross: (very concerned) Is she gonna make it, doctor? Will she be okay?  
  
Doctor: Woah, woah there, son! Now, you must be the husband to be worrying so much!  
  
Phoebe: (Scoffs)  
  
Ross: No, actually-she's just a friend  
  
Doctor: Oh-well, Rachel your FRIEND-is going to be just fine! She got a little bump on the head that knocked her out, nothing to worry about. There could be a few symptoms such as bruising, memory loss-things like that-but otherwise, she'll be up on her feet in no time. The medication should be wearing off soon, and she'll be waking up anytime now.  
  
Monica: Thanks!  
  
Joey: Yeah, thanks, Doc!  
  
Doctor: No, problem. (Exits)  
  
Chandler: Woah, well this night has been eventful.  
  
Gang: (Agrees)  
  
Rachel: (Stirs and opens her eyes, and sits up) Woah! Where am I? (Puts her hand to her head and closes her eyes and lays back down) Oh!  
  
Monica: It's okay, Rach, you got a bump on the head when the pans fell on you.  
  
Rachel: Oh okay-who are you?  
  
Monica: Who am I? Rachel, it's me, Monica-your best friend?  
  
Rachel (Furrows her brow) not ringing a bell, sorry-And why are you calling me Rachel?  
  
Phoebe: Oh, I don't know, maybe because that's your name!  
  
Rachel: Oh. (Scratches her head)  
  
Ross: Rachel, sweetie do you remember me?  
  
Rachel: (Grabs his face in her hands) No, but you are very handsome.  
  
Ross: (Smiles bashfully and blushes) Aw, well, thanks.  
  
(Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. The whole gang is watching TV- Rachel is kind of staring into space)  
  
Rachel: Is this where I live?  
  
Chandler: Okay, these random questions are getting annoying-  
  
Monica: No, honey, actually you live across the hall with Joey.  
  
Rachel: (Points to Ross hopefully) Are you Joey?  
  
Joey: (Waves Rachel's glance over to him) No that would be me.  
  
Rachel: Oh, hello!  
  
Ross: So-what should we do tonight?  
  
Monica: Well, Phoebe and me are babysitting tonight!  
  
Chandler: Really? You're babysitting? For who?  
  
Phoebe: Oh yeah, for these cute kids two floors down.  
  
Ross: Why did they ask you?  
  
Monica: Well, because, Ross, we are responsible!  
  
Rachel: (Dreamily) Ross-what a nice name.  
  
Ross: (Smiles kind of, then goes back to Monica) How'd you get the job?  
  
Phoebe: Well, we were in the hallway and the mother came up kind of desperately and asked if we were babysitters  
  
Monica: And she looked so stressed out, so we said yes!  
  
Chandler: But what about me? (In a baby voice) You're going to leave YOUR baby at home alone tonight?  
  
Monica: You'll survive.  
  
Joey: Hey, Chandler why don't you come audition for "Annie" with me?  
  
Chandler: I think I'll pass, Joe.I'm not interested in shaving my head or dying my hair red. Plus I can't sing worth crap.  
  
Joey: Aw, cummon, it'll be fun! Just for the heck of it! Cummon!  
  
Chandler: Oh, fine! Just for the heck of it!  
  
Joey: Oh, this'll be great!  
  
Chandler: Oh, yeah so great.  
  
Ross: Well, that means it's just you and me tonight, Rach!  
  
Rachel: (Still dreamily) Alone is nice.  
  
Monica: (Looks at her watch) Oh, look what time it is, Phoebs, we better get going!  
  
Phoebe: Okay! Oh wait! (Grabs her guitar) I'll sing the kids to sleep!  
  
Monica: WHAT? (Phoebe exits with Monica behind her)  
  
Joey: Yeah, Chandler we should get going too! Don't wanna be late for the big audition!  
  
Chandler: (dully) Oh, I can hardly contain my excitement.  
  
(They leave)  
  
Rachel: So, what's my name again?  
  
Ross: Your name is Rachel Gre-Gellar. (He smiles slyly)  
  
Rachel: Rachel Gre-Gellar?  
  
Ross: No, Rachel Gellar.  
  
Rachel Oh, I see.and what's your name?  
  
Ross: Ross Gellar.  
  
Rachel: (Calculates that in her mind, then looks disappointed) Oh, are we brother and sister? (She then looks disgusted)  
  
Ross: (Laughs) No, honey, (Smiles and takes her hands in his) we're married!  
  
Rachel: (Smiles) Really? Oh, wow!  
  
Ross: Yes, sweetie.  
  
Rachel: Oh, I can't wait to get my memory back so I can remember you better.  
  
Ross: (Laughs nervously)  
  
(Scene: In the hallway next to the apartment that they are babysitting in, Monica and Phoebe knock on the door. The mother answers)  
  
Mother: Hello, girls! I'm Mrs. Olsen!  
  
Phoebe and Monica: Hi!  
  
Mother: Well, I have two boys and a girl. The girl is the middle child and her name is Ashleigh.she's four, Brian is the oldest, he's six, and Freddie is the youngest, he's three and a half. I'll be home about 10 or so.I've just got a business meeting. Dinner's on its way.we ordered pizza. Have fun! Oh.and your names are.  
  
Monica: I'm Monica Gellar  
  
Phoebe: And I'm Phoebe Buffay! (Shakes her hand)  
  
Mother: Well, have fun you guys!  
  
Kids: Bye, Mommy!  
  
Ashleigh: When are you comin back, Mommy?  
  
Mother: In a little while, sweetie, this is Monica and Phoebe and they are going to take care of you while I'm gone!  
  
Ashleigh: Kay.  
  
(Mother Leaves)  
  
Monica: Hi, guys! What do you all wanna do first?  
  
Freddie: I hungee. (I'm hungry)  
  
Monica: Well, your pizza is on its way.  
  
Phoebe: Yeah!  
  
Freddie: I wah cooies. (I want cookies)  
  
Ashleigh: yeah! Cookies! Can you make cookies for us, Monica?  
  
Monica: Sure! Do you guys wanna help me?  
  
Ashleigh and Freddie: Yeah!  
  
Brian: No. (Points to Phoebe's guitar) why'd you bring that?  
  
Phoebe: Oh, I'm gonna sing to you all!  
  
Brian: Will you sing to me? (Looks down) My daddy used to sing to me, but he's dead now.  
  
(Phoebe and Monica exchange sad looks)  
  
Phoebe: Aw, well, sure, Brian.what do you want to hear? (She sits on the couch and Brian crawls into her lap)  
  
Brian: Row Your Boat  
  
Phoebe: That's my favorite song! (She starts playing) Row, row, row your boat....  
  
(Commercial Break)  
  
AN: I WOULD keep going till it ended, but I'm gonna stop her and make a new chapter so I can keep you all in suspense. Bwahaha!! Much Love Keep reading!! *Rach* 


	2. The One with the Lost Memory Part 2

Author's Note: In the last one, I made a mistake when Monica and Phoebe were introducing themselves to Mrs. Olsen. Monica's name should be Monica BING. My apologies! Enjoy the rest! *Rach*  
  
(Scene: The "Annie" auditions. Joey and Chandler are waiting in a long line of auditioning people outside a door. You can hear a man singing "Tomorrow" inside the door. Everyone has a script in their hands. Joey is lip-reading some of the script, and acting it out. Chandler is staring at Joey, crouching down, and looking bored.)  
  
Chandler: I can't believe you made me do this, Joey, I mean would you listen to all those guys in there?  
  
Joey: Aw, cummon, man! I mean, what can they do that you can't?  
  
Chandler: Sing.  
  
Joey: I'll bet you CAN sing! You've never tried! Why don't you just give it a try!  
  
Chandler: Oh, fine, whatever.  
  
Joey: And if worse comes to worse, I will give you my autograph BEFORE the show, so you can show it off to everyone!  
  
Chandler: (Dully) Oh the wonders.  
  
(Scene: A restaurant nearby Monica and Chandler's apartment. Ross and Rachel are dressed up and sitting at a table)  
  
Rachel: So, when did we get married?  
  
Ross: Three years ago-(pause)-today.  
  
Rachel: So today is our anniversary?  
  
Ross: Yes.  
  
Rachel: Oh my god, Ross! Well we have to do something special!  
  
Ross: Um, Rachel.we are out to eat at our favorite restaurant.  
  
Rachel: Oh, well, this is so romantic. I love you.  
  
Ross: I love you too, sweetie.  
  
Rachel: So, what is my favorite thing to eat?  
  
Ross: (Looks worried for a minute) Umm.well, uh, you ALWAYS get.(Looks at his menu and reads the first thing) The Grilled Chicken Salad with extra tomatoes!  
  
Rachel: Hmm, okay, I'll take your word for it.  
  
Ross: (Nervously) Kay.  
  
(A Man walks up. He's Ross's old friend from college)  
  
Drew: Ross? Ross Gellar?  
  
Ross: Drew? (Stands up and shakes his hand) Drew Nodder?  
  
Drew: (Nods) That's me, buddy! How are you doing? How's Monica?  
  
Ross: She's good-good.  
  
Drew: (Gestures towards Rachel) And who is this?  
  
Ross: Oh, this is my-  
  
Rachel: I'm his wife.  
  
Drew: Really? Well, Ross, you son of a gun, you finally got married. (Half jokingly) How come I wasn't invited to the wedding?  
  
Ross: (Nervously) Uh, well it was a very small thing.family only.you know.  
  
Rachel: We're celebrating our anniversary  
  
Drew: Really? How long?  
  
Rachel: Three years.  
  
Drew: Aw, well, congratulations, you two! I'll let you get back to your dinner.  
  
Ross: Thanks! (Breathes a sigh of relief)  
  
(The waiter comes up, and they order)  
  
Ross: I'll have a Caesar salad, please.  
  
Rachel: Yes, I'll have the grilled chicken salad with extra tomatoes, please.  
  
(The waiter takes their menus away)  
  
(Scene: Monica and Phoebe's apartment where they are babysitting. The camera shows the pizza box that is empty, and then goes to Monica, Phoebe, Ashleigh, Brian, and Freddie asleep on the couch. The cookies are still in the stove and are burning. The smoke detector goes off and everyone wakes up.)  
  
Ashleigh: What's that sound?  
  
Monica: Oh my god, sh-(Glances at the kids) oot! (She rushes to turn the stove off)  
  
Freddie: You amose set 'ouse on hire! (You almost set house on fire!)  
  
Phoebe: Oh, no she didn't! Umm.(Looks at Monica) those are Monica's special cookies! Burnt right to a crisp.  
  
Brian: I don't like burnt stuff.  
  
Ashleigh: Me neither.  
  
Phoebe: Oh, but you will like these!  
  
Freddie: I wah twy! (I wanna try!)  
  
Monica: Okay! (She turns on a fan in the kitchen and cools them off. She touches them, and announces that they are cool enough to eat. The kids all take one.)  
  
Brian: Interesting.  
  
Freddie: Ummy! (Yummy)  
  
Phoebe: (takes one) Oh sweet Jesus! (Spits it out)  
  
(The Kids all look at her and she gets down on her knees)  
  
Phoebe: Sweet Jesus, thank you for giving Monica this great talent for making great burnt cookies!  
  
(Scene: The "Annie" auditions. The auditions are taking forever. A sign comes up on the door that says "Closed")  
  
Joey: What the hell?  
  
Chandler: Aw, phooey patooey. Now we have to miss the auditions.  
  
Joey: Aw, man, well, let's just go out to eat or something.  
  
Chandler: Okay. Let's go to that Italian Restaurant place by our apartment.  
  
Joey: Yeah, man!  
  
(Scene: The Italian Restaurant place-which happens to be the one that Rachel and Ross are at. Joey and Chandler enter. Ross sees them behind Rachel and gets worried.)  
  
Ross: Uh, honey? I have to go to the bathroom for a minute.  
  
Rachel: Okay.don't be too long! (Smiles seductively)  
  
(Ross goes over to Joey and Chandler)  
  
Ross: What the HELL are you doing here?  
  
Chandler: Why don't you take a wild guess?  
  
Joey: What are YOU doin here, man! You're supposed to be watching Rachel!  
  
Ross: Well, I am.  
  
Joey: That's impossible, man, you can't be here and have her (sees Rachel in the seat) oh, I see.  
  
Ross: Yeah, I decided to take her out to dinner.  
  
Joey: Oh, well what is there to eat here?  
  
Ross: I ordered Rachel the Grilled chicken salad with extra tomatoes.  
  
Chandler: Um, Ross?  
  
Ross: Yeah, man?  
  
Chandler: Rachel's allergic to tomatoes.  
  
(Ross's eyes get wide, and everything goes in slow motion. He sees that the food has arrived at their table. Rachel is getting ready to take a bite of her tomato. Ross runs and jumps in front of her, knocking the table and her over. Rachel hits her head hard on the ground)  
  
Rachel: Ross!  
  
Ross: Sorry, honey.but you were getting ready to eat the tomato, and your allergic to it.  
  
Rachel: Oh, thanks. Wait, where the hell am I? (She's gotten her memory back!)  
  
(Drew runs up)  
  
Drew: Ross? Are you okay? Is your wife okay?  
  
(Joey and Chandler exchange frightened glances)  
  
Rachel: (Turns her head to look at Ross, who is looking sheepishly at the ground) Is your WIFE okay?  
  
Ross: Umm.  
  
Rachel: You told him we were married?  
  
Ross: Umm.  
  
Rachel: ROSS?  
  
Ross: (Ross nods) I'm sorry, Rach-it's just-(he gets a little teary)  
  
Rachel: (Softens) What's wrong, Ross? What is it?  
  
Ross: I don't know, Rach-you lost your memory, and you didn't know who I was, but you-you were attracted to me, and it was like you had forgotten everything I had ever done to you-and you still loved me-so I-just wanted to-(his voice trails off)  
  
Rachel: (Looks sadly at him. She turns his head towards hers and kisses him passionately.)  
  
(Everyone in the restaurant is looking) Joey and Chandler: Hey, hey! Nothing to see here, folks! (They wave their attention away)  
  
(Commercial Break)  
  
(Scene: The Kid's apartment where Monica and Phoebe are babysitting. The kids are in bed, and Monica and Phoebe are collapsed on the couch)  
  
Phoebe: Wow, that was fun!  
  
Monica: I know! Gosh, what great kids!  
  
Phoebe: Yeah.  
  
Monica: (Sits up) Phoebe! Phoebe! Phoebe!  
  
Phoebe: Monica! Monica! Monica!  
  
Monica: We should start a service! We could put an ad in the paper and everything!  
  
Phoebe: Ooh, yeah! We could call it "The Phoebe and Monica Sitters Corporation!  
  
Monica: Um, why couldn't we call it the "Monica and Phoebe Sitters Corporation"?  
  
Phoebe: (Laughs) Oh, please.  
  
(Scene: Central Perk the next day. The whole gang is sitting around the couches. Ross has his arm around Rachel and Rachel has her head on his shoulder)  
  
Monica: So are you too, like, together now?  
  
Rachel: (Smiles at Ross) I think so.  
  
Joey: So, Rach, you aren't mad at him for pretending to be married to you when you lost your memory?  
  
Rachel: No, I never said that. (Looks at Ross who is looking at the ground) But he did it for a sweet reason. (She kisses his cheek)  
  
Chandler: Aww.  
  
Monica: Well, I will admit, it's good to have the old Rachel back.  
  
Phoebe: Yeah, we missed you, Rachel!  
  
Rachel: Aw, well I don't remember missing you guys, but I'm sure I did!  
  
Monica: Aw, well it sucks you didn't get to try out for "Annie", you guys!  
  
Joey: Yeah, I know.  
  
Chandler: (Sarcastically) Oh yeah, it totally sucks.  
  
Joey: (Glares at him) Well, I think it was probably for the best, you know? I mean, music is not really my thing.  
  
Phoebe: Really?  
  
Chandler: Me neither.  
  
Phoebe: Well, I didn't expect music to be YOUR thing, Chandler.  
  
Ross: Oh! So how was babysitting last night, you guys.  
  
Phoebe: Oh, well, we're starting a business!  
  
Chandler: Really? That's great!  
  
Phoebe: Yep! It's called the.(she can't remember it)  
  
Monica: (To Phoebe) The Monica and Phoebe Sitters Corporation.  
  
Phoebe: Oh yeah.the Mon-wait, no that's not right! It's the Phoebe and Monica Sitter's corporation!  
  
Monica: No, Phoebe!  
  
Phoebe: Why not? It sounds better!  
  
Monica: Because abbreviated, it's the PMS Corporation.  
  
Phoebe: Oh yeah. Well fine, I guess they wouldn't want us to sit if our corporation was PMS.  
  
Monica: (Her cell phone rings.let's just say she has one) Hello? (The woman on the phone is very loud and can be heard by us)  
  
Woman: HELLO! THIS IS MRS. OLSEN AND IF THIS IS MONICA BING AND PHOEBE BUFFAY, THEN I WANT TO KNOW WHY MY APARTMENT SMELLED LIKE SMOKE WHEN I RETURNED LAST EVENING!  
  
(Phoebe grabs the phone)  
  
Phoebe: (With Very big accent) Um, hello, sorry you have got wrong numba! Don't call again! Buh bye!  
  
(Scene Fades out.Commercial Break)  
  
(Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Rachel and Ross are on the couch cuddling. The Closing credits play below them))  
  
Rachel: I can't believe we're here again.  
  
Ross: Yeah, I know.  
  
Rachel: (Sighs and kisses Ross passionately. They break) So you told him we were MARRIED? Hah!  
  
(The end of the scene)  
  
THE END!!! Hope you guys liked it!!  
  
~*Rachel Nicole*~  
  
Please Read and Review! 


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